Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow
by Titania Took
Summary: It was the 16th of December, and Captain James T. Kirk had an Idea. It is now snowing. On the Starship Enterprise. Various snowy fun ensues. Now reposted, with spellcheck!


This was started on about the 16th or 18th December, I think, but did not get finished until now, so is being posted as a fairly late Christmas fic. Although it is still technically Christmas, it's not really a Christmas fic anyway, and it is snowing here. So anyway.

Disclaimer: Star Trek isn't mine. Really. Honest.

**A/N no. 2: This be the spell-checked version, reposted in time for Christmas, in honour of the ridiculous amounts of snow here.**

**Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.**

"_I'm dreaming of a white Christmas, just like the ones we used to know…"_

-MERRY-CHRISTMAS-

It was the 16th of December, and Captain James T. Kirk had an Idea.

He pressed a few choice buttons on one of the ship's replicators, and was rewarded with victory. Now all he had to do was reproduce this on a slightly larger scale.

He walked over to the nearest vid-screen, and set up a channel down to engineering, where he knew Scotty would not be sleeping, in spite of the fact that most of the rest of the ship was and it was quite definitely not his shift. "Mr Scott?"

"Aye sir?"

"I've had an Idea."

"Well don't scare it, it's in a strange place."

"Mr Scott?" Jim did not think he needed to remind the Scotsman who was the captain around here.

"Sorry Cap'n."

"Anyway, I need you in the mess hall. Do you think you can meet me there now?"

"Ah'm coming right away sir."

-MERRY-CHRISTMAS-

Mr Spock opened his door the following morning to a blast of icy cold air, freezing to the point of him being unable to control his instinctive reaction to turn back inside and shut the door immediately. Once he had regained his composure, and the temperature in his quarters had returned to a slightly more comfortable level after the unpleasant onslaught of cold, he sat down in front of his vid-screen, and sent a message to alert to captain of the problems with his ship.

"Hi Spock!" Kirk's cheery face appeared on the screen, an unusual expression for him at this time of day. He also appeared for some as yet unknown reason to be wearing a red and white hat. Spock did not raise an eyebrow at this, as no doubt it would all be explained eventually and he had more important things to ask about than his captain's slightly uncharacteristic behaviour. "What can I do for you?"

"There appears to be a malfunction in the ship's environmental controls, at least in the corridor outside my quarters."

"Malfunction? What sort of malfunction?"

"It is incredibly cold; I would estimate about minus two point five three degrees. It is far too cold for me to go outside in without severe risk of catching hypothermia, so as such, I must remain in my quarters, unless the problem is rectified."

Jim's face fell at that. He had not realised that the necessary cold required would be too much for the Vulcan. Ordinary humans would find it bearable but quite cold, but the alien thought of the normal ship's temperature as below optimum. But… "Don't you have any hats, scarves, gloves, winter coats, anything?"

"As the ship has an environmental control system that normally means that the temperature stays within a zone that is less that I would prefer, but not uncomfortable, I have no need for such items. Therefore, no, I do not have any, sir."

But the captain had had another Idea, this one almost as good as the first. He grinned, and informed Spock "In that case, I shall bring you some. I am afraid I don't have a great choice remaining, but they'll keep you warm enough, certainly enough to keep you on duty today."

"But Captain, are you not concerned by the system's malfunction? It appears to be quite a severe one, and there may be other problems throughout the ship." Spock was looking slightly worried, if he could.

"Weeell… It's not exactly a malfunction, per se, but… well, you'll see, I suppose. By the way, Spock, our shift doesn't start for another two hours." With that Jim cut off the transmission, and began to rummage through his wardrobe for the perfect pair of gloves.

-MERRY-CHRISTMAS-

Jim wandered through the halls of the ship wearing a ridiculous grin on his face and as many layers of clothing as he could find, the majority of the shirts other that the topmost one belonging to Spock, as his were ridiculously thin for some reason, resulting in them frequently ripping, being torn to shreds, or just downright disappearing, and also in them not being quite so warm as his Vulcan Science Officer's.

On his way, he passed Uhura whistling "Winter Wonderland", and they exchanged friendly waves, as, after all, t'was the season to be jolly, and ancient grudges should be forgotten, preferably permanently, at times like this. Now he thought about it, he couldn't actually remember what they hated each other about. "Oh well," he thought, and continued on his way, humming various Christmas songs, most of them involving snow.

He was hit by a snowball as he neared Spock's quarters, but the unfortunate Chekov found a panel above him opening mysteriously and depositing most of a large blizzard's worth of snow on top of him. Jim also threw a return snowball at him, just for good measure.

It was when he had finally reached and got inside Spock's quarters, where a very reluctant Vulcan opened the door and then shut it again immediately to try and minimise the amount of offending cold let in, that his communicator beeped. To the tune of 'Dance of the Sugarplum Fairy', a prank of someone's (he still, fortunately for them, had not discovered who) that he had not yet gotten around to undoing. He patched it through to Spock's vid-screen, and was greeted by the face of a very angry Doctor McCoy.

"Jim, would you care to explain to me why exactly my head nurse is making a snow Vulcan in the middle of my sickbay?"

"I'm a Starship captain, not a psychiatrist, you know, so I am sure I have no idea why on earth, or not so as the case may be, Nurse Chapel has decided to make a snow Vulcan rather that do her no doubt incredibly interesting work. However, if you could politely remind her that the only Vulcan on this ship belongs to me, and me alone, it would be greatly appreciated."

"You know exactly what I mean, you-"

"I do not know to what you are referring, my dear Bones."

"I am asking you why there is SNOW in my sickbay!" he finally yelled.

"Ummm… Well… I may have kinda accidentally forgotten to program sickbay as indoors. I swear it was an accident really!" He hurriedly cut the transmission, fearful of the doctor's wrath, and made a mental note not to go anywhere near sickbay until he was next mortally injured. And preferably ensure that that did not happen for a long, long time.

"May I inquire as to what that was all about?"

"Oh right. Spock. Umm… Put these on, and then I'll show you." He handed to Vulcan three jumpers: one purple with teddy bears on, one blue with pictures of the Enterprise, and finally a yellow one saying "I am a Starship captain! All praise my Awesomeness!"; a very thick winter coat that was red with white fluffy trimmings; pink stripey mittens with green stripey gloves underneath; two extra pairs of knee high socks, both of which had pink fairies on them; a baby blue hat saying "I love James T. Kirk" on it, and finally a Santa hat to go over the top.

Embarrassment was a human emotion, Spock reminded himself several times as he put all of the various ridiculous items of clothing on. "I'm sorry, they were the only ones I had left," the captain giggled, clearly lying. "I love the socks and the mittens. You look great in them."

Spock looked down at the offending pieces, and raised one eyebrow. "What interests me more, Captain, is how you came to have these particular items in your possession anyway."

Jim gulped nervously, and all giggling immediately ceased. His plan to get Spock looking as silly as possible had just backfired horribly. In front of the whole crew, probably, if Spock went out in it. Although he did look incredibly cute in the "I love James T. Kirk" hat and mittens. Not that he was going to admit that until later, of course, as otherwise the Vulcan would almost certainly remove them.

"Umm… well… err… That's a story for another time. For now, let's just get out there. There's something I want to show you." And with that, he opened the door, and dragged the heavily wrapped up Vulcan out into the snow.

-MERRY-CHRISTMAS-

"What do you mean you've never seen snow before?" Jim asked in confusion as Spock revealed that he had not.

"I have seen it in vids, but on Vulcan it does not snow, and it does not often in large cities on Earth either, and I returned to my home planet during the winter holidays while I was at the academy. Which results in the fact that I have never seen snow before," Spock calmly explained to the slightly shocked human for the second time.

"Well, in that case I'll have to show you." Jim seemed to have come out of the shock he had been in as he tackled the half-Vulcan to the ground, and proceeded to bury him in snow, studiously ignoring with years of practice the comments about "this is illogical".

"Captain, why is there snow when we are inside a spaceship?" Spock finally asked.

"It's Jim, Spock, Jim. I refuse to answer your question until you phrase it correctly."

"Jim, why is there snow when we are inside a spaceship?" he repeated, and even someone who wasn't an expert on reading Vulcans' emotions would be able to tell that he was annoyed at the illogicality of it all.

"Because, my dear Spock, I put it there."

"But Jim, you are not a cloud."

"That may be true, however, I am a Starship Captain who also happens to be a genius and has access to the replicators, environmental controls, and a very good Scottish engineer. That satisfy you?"

"Yes, I believe I now understand more clearly. However, you have still not told me why you put it there."

"Ah, now there is a very good question. Have you ever heard of Christmas, Mr Spock?"

"Of course I have, Jim. Please remember that I am a half-Vulcan, not an idiot."

"Well, you may also have come across the concept of wishing for a 'white Christmas'. And what with it being so close to Christmas, and me being very bored but struck with a sudden Idea, I had to. And the crew are enjoying it. A bit of snow is very good for morale."

"Jim, were you not supposed to be doing paperwork last night? I highly doubt that you finished it all. Why, then, were you bored?"

"As you so rightly stated, Spock, I was supposed to be doing paperwork last night. Therein lies the root of my boredom. We humans do not enjoy paperwork."

"I see." And that he did, the perfect opportunity, as Jim rolled off him and began to make a snow angel. The human found himself pelted with a very large number of snowballs that the Vulcan had been producing while his focus lay elsewhere. He grinned, and pulled himself to his feet, where he pushed the unsuspecting other man into a large snow-drift.

Finding himself suddenly flipped over by the Vulcan's superior strength, and pinned to the floor with a large clump of snow dangerously close to the back of his neck, Jim hastily surrendered, and suggested a more peaceful activity, such as snowman building instead.

Eventually they settled on building an igloo in the middle of the quite narrow corridor, as Spock had wished to create an elaborate ice sculpture while Jim wanted to make the biggest snow Vulcan he could. One half of the igloo was perfectly neat, and working, while the other kept falling in, and its builder was becoming distinctly frustrated. There are no prizes for guessing who was building which side.

"Spock," Jim eventually groaned, frustrated. "How do you do that?"

"The way your earth penguins do it. Using blocks of snow."

"Ah. I see. Wait… Penguins?"

"My mother showed me the documentary 'Pingu' when I was young. I assumed it was intended for Earth children because of the lack of coherent speech. It seems that I was wrong, and you never saw it."

Jim found himself unable to answer for quite some time, due to the insane laughter running through him, rendering him unable to speak for at least five minutes. Once he had finally calmed down, he eventually managed to giggle "Pingu! A documentary! Tee hee." At this point he broke down into more fits of uncontrollable laughter. "It's an Earth children's program, yes, and of course I saw it, but it's for entertainment and is entirely fictional. Earth children don't watch documentaries voluntarily very often. You thought it was a documentary! Hehe!"

It seemed that that was the only coherent speech Spock was going to get from Jim for quite a while, so he just stood there and nodded while his captain rolled around like a lemon on the snowy floor with laughter. It was fortunate, he decided, that he had not made many decisions based on the incorrect facts that he had assumed in the past, and now he knew for future reference that it was just an Earth children's program that had very little factual basis. But that scene with the pancakes was just so…

"Ok, I'm fine now. I think," Jim managed to say without dissolving into yet more giggles. "Penguins don't build igloos, just so you know, and they live at the South Pole. Inuits, or Eskimos as they used to be known as, live at the North Pole, and they do build igloos, probably using blocks of ice or snow."

"What about pancakes?" Spock had to know.

"Oh, the pancake scene…" Jim once more burst into hysterical laughter. Not least at Spock watching Pingu, and thinking it was a documentary… He eventually managed to control himself. "Well, penguins don't eat pancakes, but humans do, and things like that frequently happen if they are not careful. Remind me next pancake day, and I'll show you pancakes too."

Spock nodded, and they finished the igloo in companionable silence, with the exception of Jim's out of tune whistling, which Spock felt the need to correct whenever it became painfully off-key. They then built a snow Vulcan, which, with the aid of Jim sitting on Spock's shoulders, eventually reached the ceiling, followed by an elaborate ice sculpture of a cat. It was the perfect temperature for it, with things not melting, but forming the correct shapes, and fusing together with the body heat of their hands. It had better have been, as Jim had spent a lot time working out exactly what temperature to set the ship to, a luxury that people did not normally have.

During this time, Jim sent a ship-wide message alerting everyone to dress up warm before stepping out of doors, and also telling them that uniform was optional, due to the weather conditions. A snowball hit him in the back of the head, and he turned around to see Spock looking completely innocent and focusing on his finished sculpture while whistling without a tune. The half-Vulcan found his normally perfectly under control hair turn white and messy as a snowball hit it.

They were interrupted from violently pelting each other with snow missiles by the ship's clock, which alerted them to the fact that they only had five minutes until their shift started. Jim quickly pressed a few buttons to make it start snowing as it had done the night before, and joyfully watched the look of glee on Spock's face as he stared in wonder at the flakes beginning to fall from the ceiling.

"C'mon Spock. We have a shift to get to." The half-Vulcan nodded, and allowed himself to be led away by the human clutching his hand, still staring entranced at the tiny flakes floating magically to the floor, more mesmerised than a human child at their first snowfall. Jim grinned, and wished that he would always look like that. So human, and so happy.

-MERRY-CHRISTMAS-

Captain Kirk's whistling of 'Jingle Bells' was cut short by a high-speed snowball to the back of his head.

"Who threw that? I'm having them court-martialled!"

"Captain, a Klingon ship is hailing us."

"All right then. Ladies and Gentlemen, you know what to do. We have rehearsed this several times now, and the words really aren't that difficult. Put them on screen."

The thoroughly bemused Klingons found themselves with a view of the Enterprise's bridge, covered in snow and heavily decorated with tinsel, baubles and fairy lights. But the most surprising thing was probably the crew themselves. All, even the Vulcan, were wearing Santa hats, and at the captain's command, they burst into a rousing chorus of 'We wish you a Merry Christmas', all eighteen verses, ending with an impromptu dance routine from Kirk.

"Captain, I believe we have sent the Klingons into shock," Spock finally stated, after ten minutes of the Klingon crew just sitting there staring with their mouths open.

"Uhura, can you send these instructions through to them please? I think it's time that the Klingons learnt about Christmas too. They certainly seemed to enjoy the song." The communications officer did as she was told, and soon they were on their way again, whatever message or attack the Klingons had intended to give them completely forgotten.

"Keptin, what did you send them?" Chekov asked.

"Oh, just some code that will make their ship snowy too."

"Cool."

"And disable their phasers and photon torpedoes."

"Logical."

"And play Earth Christmas music on repeat until someone works out how to switch it off."

"Captain, was it really necessary to aggravate them like that?"

"Oh, they'll like it."

"I for some reason disbelieve you," Spock muttered quietly, and returned to his work.

-MERRY-CHRISTMAS-

"Uhura, are there any ships in the vicinity?"

"No, sir."

"Then I have something far more interesting to do than translating Standard into Standard." She gulped, and quickly tried to fade into the background. "The same applies to your game of solitaire, Mr Chekov. And Sulu, why are you looking up the definition of 'mnbvcxzkjhgfdsapoiuytrewq'? At least pretend to be trying to work."

"What is this something, then, Keptin?" Chekov asked, with the downside of drawing even more attention to himself, but the advantage of changing the subject.

"A snowball fight!" This announcement was greeted with cheers, and it was exactly zero point seven three seconds before the first snowball was thrown. Spock would know, as it was him that threw it. Right at the back of the captain's head.

"Hey! That's mutiny, that's what that is!" Kirk loudly protested when he felt the lump of cold snow hit him.

"I apologise, Captain. I had been led to believe that in a snowball fight, you threw snowballs at everyone."

"Yes, but Spock, you were supposed to be on my team!" He was sounding slightly like a petulant child now, but oh well. It got the message across.

"Of course, Captain." And with that Spock threw a snowball at Lieutenant Uhura instead.

-MERRY-CHRISTMAS-

"So, Spock. What did you think of snow?" Kirk inquired in the turbo-lift at the end of the day.

"It was a… pleasant experience," he finally conceded. Jim grinned. That was practically admitting that he felt something!

"3D chess?"

"No thank you. I believe I have a better plan."

"And what might that be, Mr Spock?"

"I intend to continue 'playing' in the snow, as it is a rare occurrence on Starships, and I wish to make the most of it." Did Spock just say 'playing', Jim wondered. This snow really was good stuff.

"Given I have complete control over it, what makes you assume that there wont be any there tomorrow?"

"As I recall, Earth snow tends to disappear after a while, and though it has admittedly been good for crew morale, the productivity rate has dropped dramatically. Were Starfleet command to hear about this, we would be in great trouble. Also, the effects of any new thing wear off if it is there for too long, and finally, that Klingon ship could have had something important to say."

"Then it's a good job I wiped the ship's records, and I'm sure the crew won't tell. But equally, the Klingons could just have been in a mood for a fight, as usual, and the snow kept them off and gave them some of the festive spirit. That's Christmas, Spock."

"You are correct in that matter, however, I believe it would be best if there was no snow tomorrow."

"Fine," Jim eventually sulked. "I guess we'd better make the most of it now then."

"Forgive me. It was not my intention to upset you."

"Hey, don't worry. You're forgiven," he yelled as he threw a snowball at the Vulcan and hurriedly ducked. A return missile was quickly fired, and before long they were rolling about in the snow once more, without a care in the world. Except for when they were getting close to sickbay, when they pretended to be snowmen, which did not fool the doctor, who threw a friendly snowball at them. And so all were happy, and none could wait for Christmas.

**The End**

Press the blue button! You know you want to!

No really. Feedback would be greatly appreciated.

:)

**(The sequel to this, Pancakes, may be found on my profile, featuring the infamous Pingu scene, but scaled up to trying to feed pancakes to 430 people (or 423, taking into account redshirt death rates))**


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